Your wedding day is huge. A life-changing occasion. A monumentous moment.
Yes, I made that word up.
Women grow up dreaming of this day. The dress, the man, the flowers, the first dance…It’s our chance to be a princess for a day. For some of us, it’s our chance to really express ourselves to the individuals invited. It’s our turn to tell our story and be celebrated for us.
In other words, it’s incredibly stressful and even overwhelming.
I don’t know about you, but I’m an achiever. A perfectionist. And I have a background in events and design. I had to have the. Best. Wedding. Ever. And I almost turned into a bridezilla.
But I didn’t. Achiever, remember?
I had this idea in my head of how things needed to be. How I wanted people to feel at our wedding. What I wanted them to remember. From the flowers to the votives, I knew what kind of vibe and atmosphere I wanted. I hesitated over flowers for a split second, but that was about it.
Actually, I wasn’t sure about my dress, either. Which is a bummer, but now I know life goes on
So, when I hear someone’s engaged, I’m legitimately excited for them. Like, yay I want to talk wedding with you excited. Also, I feel like it’s rude to not ask an engaged woman how wedding sheesh is going.
Which is probably why everyone does so and annoys the heck out of the bride to be.
With that being said, the pressure continues to mount as you’re planning your big day. Here are my fav rules to remember while you’re working on your wedding.
1. You don’t have to invite the whole world.
People ask about your wedding because they are curious/there was a lull in the conversation/they want to offer advice (which may or may not be helpful in nature). The number of people actually fishing for an invite is probably pretty low. Think of it as training for when you’re preggo and everyone wants to touch your belly
2. Compromise happens.
You’re the bride. This is your day. But, your mother probably has her own ideas about how things should be, your mother-in-law may want to live vicariously through you, your dad has a tendency to be particular and your maid-of-honor doesn’t like the bridesmaids’ dresses. Ugh. Get together with your groom/whoever’s paying early on (or right now if you haven’t yet) and talk things over. Decide which hill you’re willing to die for. If it’s the menu, let the decor slide a little. If mom still wants you to wear her veil, ponder the consequences of agreeing to versus turning her down. Everyone’s got to give a little. We gave on the entrees, but “put our feets down” on the invitations and printed material because we’re designers and I’m paper-conscientious. But most importantly, figure out what the heck your man wants out of the day. If he really wants a football-shaped cake, see if you can make a groom’s cake a reality. If he’s going to die a little inside over the ceremony playlist, let him have a go at putting it together. It’s totally worth it to have him back you in the rest of the planning.
3. Get stuff done.
Get a list together. Pick a bridesmaid to help manage details. Find a friend with some knowledge of local vendors and locations. Put together a wedding team and get your sheesh together. The two most important thongs to get done first are the venue and dress. After that, you can take your time. Forget the wedding checklists, calendars, planners, etc you can get off theknot.com. But, don’t neglect your wedding planning either. Take things one step at a time, but keep on steppin’ so you don’t get behind.
4. Everyone has a budget.
You’ve probs got a budget to stick to. So do your bridesmaids. So do the groomsmen. So do your guests. Inviting friends and family to an engagement party, bridal shower, mens shower, house-warming party, bachelorette party, bachelor party and wedding really racks up. For you and for them. So don’t let it get too crazy. If your bridesmaids want to shower you, yay. If your family wants to as well, double yay. Get those registry gift bought. But, don’t expect multiple gifts from everyone. Bridesmaids dresses can be pretty expensive, so shop around for a good price. Renting a tux and buying a suit are sometimes comparable in price, so ask the groomsmen what they’d prefer to do. And, most importantly, give yourself some wiggle-room in your budget. If you spend more on the flowers than originally planned, can you spend less on the caterer? Is there something your future in-laws are willing to help with? It’s still your day – people will rally to help if you ask!
5. Eat your dinner and a piece of cake, too.
Your wedding day is finally here! Don’t sweat the small stuff – you’re the bride and you set the tone of the entire event. Which means, your guests will have fun if you do! Don’t let that stress you out, it’s actually a good phenomenon. So the florist is running late? No worries, let your mom deal with her. Your welcome table doesn’t look as good as you wanted it to? Oh well, you look hot. The best man didn’t shave his nasty beard? It’ll be a great story to tell in a year. Really, it’s ok. Insert yourself the day of if you want – I did – but, keep your cool. Eat your dinner and have some cake. You did it! And you done good.